


Please Love Me

by geekinlikeaboss



Category: Frostiron - Fandom, Loki - Fandom, Marvel, Thor - Fandom, Throki - Fandom, Tony Stark - Fandom
Genre: Dubious Consent, Feels, Incest, Love, M/M, Regret, Sorrow, long ago and far away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-04
Updated: 2014-04-04
Packaged: 2018-01-18 03:58:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1414252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geekinlikeaboss/pseuds/geekinlikeaboss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Uuuuuugh! I do this shit to myself late at night. </p><p>Trigger Warnings: Dubious Consent here. Perspective applies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please Love Me

Thor was acting melancholy again, isolating himself from the other Avengers by sitting on the roof of Stark tower with a large mug of ale for the last four hours. Everyone knew why. After all, even if Loki wasn’t just about as loud as an elephant traipsing through a bell store, Thor was the Thunderer in name and voice. Their fighting about be heard through the entire tower from the top floor to the labs and it had ended poorly. JARVIS had been recording, like he did when most disturbances occurred. So of course Tony knew more about what was said to offend and put both brothers (who up till now had been okay not great, okay), on the outs again.

He didn’t get most of what they were talking about. When they spoke to one another, especially when tempers flared, they used a kind of Norwegian, Danish, Finnish conglomeration that was heavily accented and punctuated with English terms when something in their natural tongue just wouldn’t cut it. Apparently there were words that just sounded more vicious in English. Who knew?

He hadn’t caught most of it, and despite him and Loki having gotten ‘close’ in the last few weeks, he wasn’t going to be so invasive as have JARVIS translate. Still, it was annoying to have him up there. Almost to where Tony felt like the thunder god was invading his personal space. After the sixth hour and tenth call for someone to bring him more alcohol, Tony decided it was time to stop enabling this habit.

“Hey there big blond and beautiful.” He said jovially and sat down next to Thor. The Asgardain humphed and drained his mug, letting the amber liquid run down his chin. “Oh come on! It’s not so bad. At least this time he didn’t attempt to conquer a world after you had a tiff.”

Thor rolled his eyes and gestured impatiently. “You speak on things you do not understand, friend Stark.” He growled out in a terribly unfriendly tone.

“Well that’s kind of hard. Cause you know you two are just so verbose when it comes to family issues.” He snapped off with his own brand of flagrant sarcasm. “Come on, they say confession is god for the soul. Not that I believe in one but we can pretend.” He laid a hand on the broad shoulders and was suddenly reminded of a polished steel bar.

“Confession…” Thor’s tone was cryptic.

“Yeah. I mean aside from the attempt to conquer Earth and the whole getting you banished from Asgard…I mean brothers don’t just do that kind of thing for no reason.” Tony said and poured himself a mug of ale. “What happened? Is it the whole frost giant thing?” Thor shrugged and shook his head. Again, Tony didn’t know too much, but he knew it was a source of deeply troubling emotions for Loki that he was jotun. “Okaaaay…the fact that daddy All-Father loved you more?” Thor nodded a little, so okay that way part of it. “Well…what were you a shitty brother? Come on you’re a giant loveable oaf! How bad could you have been?”

Thor hung his head and looked as though he were about to cry. “I raped him.”

Dead silence hung in the air. Whatever Tony had expected to hear, that was not it. Not one smart ass comment could escape his lips. The wind blew hard across the roof of the Stark tower and Tony could see dark storm clouds gathering on the horizon.

Thor slammed his fists into his eyes as though he could drive the memory from him. “I was drunk! It is no excuse but I was drunk on mead and battle fever!” He insisted, shaking as though he would sob.

“What…?” Tony gulped. Clearly there was more to this. Some deeper complication he wasn’t quite getting. Was Thor being overdramatic? Maybe this was some sort of cultural misinterpretation. Hell the guy still pronounced most things like he was living in the sixth century. “Just…hold up. Just, start at the beginning.” He said, not sure why he wanted to hear this. Again, he felt like he was invading someone’s privacy. But then there was Loki.

He thought about the parallel between how Thor was reacting and how Loki had reacted to their fight. Cloistered up in his bedroom, buried in sheets and refusing to admit anyone. Tony had managed to get in there just to check on him and had been confronted by a furious and tear stained god who snarled and sent conjured serpents at him to drive him from the dark and morose room.

He needed to hear this.

“It is not a pretty tale. Not fit for your mythology books.” Thor groaned out with spite at himself. Had he ever told anyone about this? Not likely. He didn’t know much about Asgardian culture but he was pretty sure that they would have reacted poorly to rape, not to mention incest. “I was home from battle, blood stained and in the height of glory with my friends. We went where we always went, to the taverns. To drown ourselves in wine and wenches till we were well sodden with both.” His words were muffled by his giant fist and Tony had to sit close to hear it. “I was in the mood for one but not the other. In my youth I was…a glory hound. A warmongering princeling, more thirsty for my hammer in a skull than anything else. I had cleaned out two casks of mead on my own and was half way through a third when Loki was sent to fetch me.”

“I have never taken kindly to being pulled from my cups. But Loki was insistent. Father had ambassadors, councilors all waiting to give me accolades and praise. A feast in my honor. The usual tripe.” She shrugged it off. “But Loki managed to wrangle me out the door, scolding me for not coming sooner and neglecting my duties. I was leaning on him as he dragged me from the tavern and into the ally-way.”

“I…I do not remember clearly when I started to touch him. When my hands went from brotherly to invasive, all was such a blur. I know I pressed him up against a wall and he was confused. My fingers found their way under his leathers and against his skin. I called him my pretty brother. I told him how fair and slim he was.” Thor’s voice took on a soft, almost nostalgic tone, as though he could see it happening again. Tony felt distinctly uncomfortable. “He was so confused at first, but he realized what I wanted soon enough. He pushed me away, told me it was wrong, that we shouldn’t be doing this. I…I didn’t listen. I told him how badly in need I was. I told Loki to let me love him.”

Thor started sobbing dryly, his great body racked and bent in utter dejection. “I was drunk!” he roared again and the thunder cracked and boomed over the city, echoing his hatred of himself. “I…I turned his face to the wall and he whimpered and opened himself for me. He never was as strong as me. Never as much a warrior. He did not try to fight me back. I do not know what I might have done if he did. I pulled down his trousers and spat on his entryway and took my pleasure from him.” The thunder gods voice was empty and hollow. It was out now. How long had he kept this inside? How long had he let this hang between them? “He never cried. Loki just…spread his thighs for me, bracing himself against the wall. He…he moaned, Stark.” Thor looked up in him in confusion. “Why would he do this?” Tony shook his head, having no answer to supply.

“He took me. I don’t remember for how long, but I spilled inside of him and again on his back. I think...I think he came. I remember him dripping from his own member. But I was coming back to myself, sobering up. I think I had begun to realize what I’d done and I looked at him, half dressed and covered in my seed, still looking over his shoulder at me as though he expected more. I think I was more disgusted with him than at myself.” Thor sniffed, pushing the long blond locks from his face to show that he had been crying, weeping like a helpless child.

Tony didn’t know how to respond. Wanting to push Thor off the roof seemed like a good impulse. Thankfully he didn’t give into it. Probably wouldn’t have worked at any rate.

“I did not want to remember it, but Loki…Loki acted as though he did not wish to forget.” Thor could not grasp it. “He began cornering me in empty rooms. Touching me at the most inappropriate times…”

“As oppose to in a dark ally way.” Tony let it slid out of his lips with nothing less then bile.

Thor seemed to accept his anger. “When he alluded to what I’d done, I denied it. I told him he was mistaken, or perhaps in the grip of a fever dream or bewitchment. When Loki did at last call me out, telling me he was not mistaken; I knew not how to respond. Stark he begged it from me again!” he held out his arms in deep confusion. “He told me he did not care that I might be rough. That he would take it, if that was my desire. He touched me most intimately and pleaded with me to love him again.”

Tony gulped down his anger. “And did you?”

Thor gave a shake of his head, looking for a moment like a depression lion. “I did far worse then. I laughed at him. I told him he was befuddled. ‘After all…who could give love to a pale scrawny runt like you?’ I could see how much this hurt him. I could see him wanting to weep, but knowing I would mock his tears. But I ignored it. I was still too deep in denial of my crimes.”

“You just hurt him worse.” Tony started in. “He wasn’t mad at you for fucking him. He was mad that you rejected him when it was his choice.” Tony wanted to hit him. No. He wanted to put on the suit and hit him. No! He wanted to tell the Hulk that Thor had called him a giant bilge snipe and let the Hulk hit him!

Thor nodded.

“Do you even get what you were to him right then? Do you even grasp how much power you had over him, emotionally? And fuck you, you took it and used it. You used him. And when he wanted more you pushed him off to the side and reminded him that being used was just his place in your golden world.” _FUCK!_ So much made sense now. No it didn’t excuse anything. It didn’t make it okay, all Loki’s transgressions and crimes. But if anyone knew what it was like to try and rebuild a good life from one wrecked and shattered by your own hands, it was Tony.

Thor did not try to acquit himself. “I deserve his hatred. I know this. It took me so many years to accept it. I cannot even attempt to deserve his forgiveness.” He looked up at Tony with pleading eyes. “Do not tell the others. Not for my sake, but for Loki. He would be beyond humiliation to find that they know.”

“I’ll keep your dirty secret.” Tony snapped, his lip curling instinctively. “Just…don’t get around me for a couple a day alright. I mean I get it. I know. I don’t know. I’m not one to judge, I’ve done some pretty fucked up things.” He was yammering but he couldn’t stop himself. He made to leave before he said something stupid.

“Stark, do you love him?”

Boom. The thunder cracked hard overhead and rain began to pour down like the second flood.

Thor stood like the bulwark he was. “Please…please love him. I would, but it can never be without the taint of what I did to him once. It can never be the love he needs.”

“I didn’t even know you knew we were fucking.” Tony answered back.

“I know my brother. I know when he has found a paramour.” Thor gave a short explanation. “I did not know which one of you it was until now.” He stood in front of his friend and Tony was made suddenly very aware of just how huge Thor was compared to him. “I do not begrudge you him, nor he you. But please Stark, please…love him as I never could.”


End file.
